3:35 pm.
275 south.
pink nails and toes.
hat on. belly full.
Traffic.
20 mph.
to the promised land.
don't fool yourself into thinking you're more than a man.
rachets sleeping.
rakes driving.
speak up.
shh, turn it down.
I won't wait.
you better move fast.
work in one hour.
noon: I want to go home.
I'm doin the best that I can.
somedays I'm doin better than others.
burn your life down.
3:49 pm.
towtrick
she said "baby we could never be friends, I'll love you until the end, I'll never tell you again."
I miss NM.
I miss my sister.
I miss PD.
and TB.
I miss me.
no, no, no, that's not right.
I miss less responsibility, and more carefree.
this is going to be a big summer.
endure, endure, endure.
its such a beautiful day to be alive.
I miss NM.
I miss my sister.
I miss PD.
and TB.
I miss me.
no, no, no, that's not right.
I miss less responsibility, and more carefree.
this is going to be a big summer.
endure, endure, endure.
its such a beautiful day to be alive.
nows a better time than any:
I once felt a boys heart beat in his chest.
It didn't tell me no lies, but I didn't find any truth either.
at least not what I wanted to find.
forget anyone who has ever hurt me.
I want to find someone who is
scared to death to lose me.
you can do it:
I told him as soon as I wrote it.
he didn't care.
I cling tightly to my blanket. Its down softness can't wrap around me any tighter. My mind won't stop. Dreams nip at my scalp. My brain is coaxing my eyes to roll back into these thoughts of daydreams turned vivid. I dream technicolor gore. With a bitchin soundtrack exploding in my ears.
I daydream to much & my nightmares haunt me all day. I like to dance for hours on end all alone. Elegant dos. Evident donts. Everything we think of. Its hard to say. Its hard to see. I'm blisteringly lovestoned off this hit. Ill never say we did. Ill never say we didn't. & Ill damn never quit. Get chills. Get shakes. Got burns. Got desires. Your lying cold if you say you don't tingle. I'm sighing heavily as we mix & mingle. Slick ritzy suited hims. Scantily clad missuses. Its birth & murder. Everyone's got one. Mines going to be black & white. Technicolor climaxing. Shadows molesting the gore & thick pooled blood under my sneakers. Pitiful sanity.
I'm going to write. A book. A letter. A movie. A note. A screenplay. Something. It won't be a happy story, with nauseating morals, a healing vision, or a sublime dream imprinted on the consciousness of an audience longing to heal their broken hearts damaged with reality. Searching for escape in the pages of another's words or in the darkness of a theater. It wont be hollywood, with spun platinum sugar clouds, like the wigs of starlets & sky's dyed the color of laundered-to-perfection jeans. It won't be decorated with emerald citadels, lost Utopian horizons, swank palmy night clubs filled with style & oozing champagne & bare skinned beauties. No gun-toting cowboys inhabiting & protecting ghost towns with their petticoat whores. Flowers won't threaten to grow over the doors & windows of swiss chalets, english tudor manors, or spanish villas, the way it happened to sleeping beauty's castle. My story will drip like blood & make them writhe in their 8 dollar seats. I'm secretly collecting razorblades in an asylum & hiding them under my tongue to carve the words I can only write onto my body. Line up kids. This shits bound to be addicting. Don't blink, kids. You can't miss this.
he didn't care.
I cling tightly to my blanket. Its down softness can't wrap around me any tighter. My mind won't stop. Dreams nip at my scalp. My brain is coaxing my eyes to roll back into these thoughts of daydreams turned vivid. I dream technicolor gore. With a bitchin soundtrack exploding in my ears.
I daydream to much & my nightmares haunt me all day. I like to dance for hours on end all alone. Elegant dos. Evident donts. Everything we think of. Its hard to say. Its hard to see. I'm blisteringly lovestoned off this hit. Ill never say we did. Ill never say we didn't. & Ill damn never quit. Get chills. Get shakes. Got burns. Got desires. Your lying cold if you say you don't tingle. I'm sighing heavily as we mix & mingle. Slick ritzy suited hims. Scantily clad missuses. Its birth & murder. Everyone's got one. Mines going to be black & white. Technicolor climaxing. Shadows molesting the gore & thick pooled blood under my sneakers. Pitiful sanity.
I'm going to write. A book. A letter. A movie. A note. A screenplay. Something. It won't be a happy story, with nauseating morals, a healing vision, or a sublime dream imprinted on the consciousness of an audience longing to heal their broken hearts damaged with reality. Searching for escape in the pages of another's words or in the darkness of a theater. It wont be hollywood, with spun platinum sugar clouds, like the wigs of starlets & sky's dyed the color of laundered-to-perfection jeans. It won't be decorated with emerald citadels, lost Utopian horizons, swank palmy night clubs filled with style & oozing champagne & bare skinned beauties. No gun-toting cowboys inhabiting & protecting ghost towns with their petticoat whores. Flowers won't threaten to grow over the doors & windows of swiss chalets, english tudor manors, or spanish villas, the way it happened to sleeping beauty's castle. My story will drip like blood & make them writhe in their 8 dollar seats. I'm secretly collecting razorblades in an asylum & hiding them under my tongue to carve the words I can only write onto my body. Line up kids. This shits bound to be addicting. Don't blink, kids. You can't miss this.
I looove shiney things!
"Girls like glitter because men created it."
"Girls like glitter because it reminds them of diamonds and money."
"Girls like glitter because it reminds them of diamonds and money."
weakerthans
garage sale. saturday.
I need to pay my heart's outstanding bills.
a cracked-up compass and a pocket watch,
some plastic daffodils.
the cutlery and coffee cups I stole from all-night restaurants,
a sense of wonder only slightly used,
a year or two to haunt you in the dark.
for a phone call from far away with a "Hi, how are you today?",
and a sign recovery comes to the broken ones.
a wage-slave forty-hour work week weighs a thousand kilograms.
so bend your knees comes with a free fake smile for all your dumb demands.
the cordless razor that my father bought when I turned 17,
a puke-green sofa, and the outline to a complicated dream of dignity.
for a laugh, too loud and too long.
for a place where awkward belong,
and a sign recovery comes to the broken ones.
to the broken ones.
to the broken ones.
for the broken ones.
"Or Best Offer."
"But where is her lover?" she asked him. "You can't let her be there all on her own. Look at her. Look how sad she is.
"He's coming. He's picking her some violets to pin in her coat."
-paint it black
summer lovin' is stupid as soon as your alone.
all nighters.
Carpe noctum! Seize the night, you know what I mean? Take what you can get. Even if it seems wicked. I mean, what's the alternative? Rot. Death.
I wore the night like a vintage dress.
go ahead, just shit on the cupcakes.
birth celebration in california. I've never been one to be much of a birthdayzilla or one to enjoy when things are planned to be all about me. so a rave, surrounded by 40,000 strangers, dancing to chromeo live with lasers all over was perfection. thanks for all the birthday wishes from all of you wonderful friends. as for the one important friend who I didn't hear a single thing from on my birthday... its terrible to not be able to tell my best friend about amazing things that happen. Green doesn't look good on you.
I feel so redundant and all theroy no action. I guess its enough talk about cuttin ties, moving on, letting go and time to just really do it.
it also appears that I in fact am going to be doing this all by myself.
I can't keep penciling people into my plans anymore.
all I get out of that is a let down.
so many people have come & gone in my life.
I've learned the definition & witnessed the meaning of fickle friends, shallow company, & testosterone drunk boys.
when I make friends I want to be doing it in depth. long term.
no sluts.
no liars.
no cheats.
no douche fucks.
no manipulators.
no abusers.
honesty. empathy. integrity. & class. thats all.
people who trust me as much as I trust them.
people I know I can fall back on.
I don't play he said she said garbage, and if you don't trust me & I've never done you wrong, then I'm sorry I ever gave you the opportunity to.
disrespect me, lie to me, or play childish games - you will be cut immediately without a second thought.
my girls are my girls & I want to trust them with everything.
my boys are my boys & I want to know they will take care of me.
everyone whose been that person for me, thank you from the bottom of my heart.
heartless bitch mode might be in order.
intelligence is the key and you're definately locked out.
I feel so redundant and all theroy no action. I guess its enough talk about cuttin ties, moving on, letting go and time to just really do it.
it also appears that I in fact am going to be doing this all by myself.
I can't keep penciling people into my plans anymore.
all I get out of that is a let down.
so many people have come & gone in my life.
I've learned the definition & witnessed the meaning of fickle friends, shallow company, & testosterone drunk boys.
when I make friends I want to be doing it in depth. long term.
no sluts.
no liars.
no cheats.
no douche fucks.
no manipulators.
no abusers.
honesty. empathy. integrity. & class. thats all.
people who trust me as much as I trust them.
people I know I can fall back on.
I don't play he said she said garbage, and if you don't trust me & I've never done you wrong, then I'm sorry I ever gave you the opportunity to.
disrespect me, lie to me, or play childish games - you will be cut immediately without a second thought.
my girls are my girls & I want to trust them with everything.
my boys are my boys & I want to know they will take care of me.
everyone whose been that person for me, thank you from the bottom of my heart.
heartless bitch mode might be in order.
intelligence is the key and you're definately locked out.
moon pie
we'll have our way in time.
turning points at every moment.
I'm attempting to connect the dots into something more creative, well planned, and aesthetically pleasing. not just a jumbled mess of bullshit bullshit bullshit. scribbles. I forgive. I try to forget. It's been extra gloomy since I've gotten back to michigan. everyones getting sick. already sick of the grind.
SF : "more reason to come back and see us sooooon"
turning points at every moment.
I'm attempting to connect the dots into something more creative, well planned, and aesthetically pleasing. not just a jumbled mess of bullshit bullshit bullshit. scribbles. I forgive. I try to forget. It's been extra gloomy since I've gotten back to michigan. everyones getting sick. already sick of the grind.
SF : "more reason to come back and see us sooooon"
at least we aren't crying on the bathroom floor together.
rachelk: I pout on johns boxers
rachelk: Here kay wnats to say hi
SJ!: Hahaha yess double trouble babies
rachelk: Meow
SJ!: Purrr
rachelk: Idoinbtkniwhiwthisworks
SJ!: I'm so high drinking root beer staring at people
SJ!: Hahahahaha
SJ!: S p a c e. B a r
rachelk: Ahhhh plkesse tell me it was braks
rachelk: Br
rachelk: Braques
SJ!: FOUNTAIN braks
rachelk: Haha
SJ!: Berdgajdfks rootbeer
rachelk: Reallllllyy
rachelk: Thatsd the best
rachelk: I'm so jeals
SJ!: I miss you babies
rachelk: I loove braquyehdjkvbnjds root beere
rachelk: I'm drunk
SJ!: I'm so fucking tan it looks like I went to cancun
rachelk: I'm jeals
rachelk: Fuck
rachelk: You
SJ!: I have tanorexia
SJ!: I don't think I'm tan enough
rachelk: From me and rach
rachelk: Dear sj
SJ!: No fucks off
rachelk: Fuck you
rachelk: Thanks bye
rachelk: Love kay and rach
SJ!: That's so mean
rachelk: I'm kidddding I'm smiling while I type
rachelk: I only have lovefor you
rachelk: We are juss
rachelk: T jeals
System message: File sent: IMG02645.jpg.
SJ!: I have so many intense pics from the rave on my camera
rachelk: Chromeo
rachelk: I chatechue
rachelk: Fuck u
rachelk: Shroneo
SJ!: we should all do drugs and look at them
rachelk: Biatcccchhhhh$
rachelk: Hahahaahah
rachelk: This iz rachey
rachelk: Fuck offffbitatch
rachelk: We luvhhhh u
rachelk: Jeals$
rachelk: Stopppp
SJ!: Loves youuuu
rachelk: Lobe ytuy
rachelk: Here kay wnats to say hi
SJ!: Hahaha yess double trouble babies
rachelk: Meow
SJ!: Purrr
rachelk: Idoinbtkniwhiwthisworks
SJ!: I'm so high drinking root beer staring at people
SJ!: Hahahahaha
SJ!: S p a c e. B a r
rachelk: Ahhhh plkesse tell me it was braks
rachelk: Br
rachelk: Braques
SJ!: FOUNTAIN braks
rachelk: Haha
SJ!: Berdgajdfks rootbeer
rachelk: Reallllllyy
rachelk: Thatsd the best
rachelk: I'm so jeals
SJ!: I miss you babies
rachelk: I loove braquyehdjkvbnjds root beere
rachelk: I'm drunk
SJ!: I'm so fucking tan it looks like I went to cancun
rachelk: I'm jeals
rachelk: Fuck
rachelk: You
SJ!: I have tanorexia
SJ!: I don't think I'm tan enough
rachelk: From me and rach
rachelk: Dear sj
SJ!: No fucks off
rachelk: Fuck you
rachelk: Thanks bye
rachelk: Love kay and rach
SJ!: That's so mean
rachelk: I'm kidddding I'm smiling while I type
rachelk: I only have lovefor you
rachelk: We are juss
rachelk: T jeals
System message: File sent: IMG02645.jpg.
SJ!: I have so many intense pics from the rave on my camera
rachelk: Chromeo
rachelk: I chatechue
rachelk: Fuck u
rachelk: Shroneo
SJ!: we should all do drugs and look at them
rachelk: Biatcccchhhhh$
rachelk: Hahahaahah
rachelk: This iz rachey
rachelk: Fuck offffbitatch
rachelk: We luvhhhh u
rachelk: Jeals$
rachelk: Stopppp
SJ!: Loves youuuu
rachelk: Lobe ytuy
smoked and leaving los angeles.
having an unplanned pregnancy is like having an unplanned dui.
oh dude you were driving drunk?
and you got a dui?
oh no way!
oh dude you were driving drunk?
and you got a dui?
oh no way!
oh
rachel.: I will go to animal collective if it means a wheel chair, IV and oxygen tank.
rachel.: Just letting you know right now.
SJ!: Ill push
SJ!: Or you can sit on my lap and ill do wheelies
rachel.: Hahaha
rachel.: I want that.
rachel.: And ill clap and smile
SJ!: And say yay and weee
yeah but no
maybe if my heart stops,
It wont hurt like it does some times.
but it feels so good when you make it swell.
maybe if my heart stops,
no one can steal it like they do sometimes.
but it feels so good when you trade me for yours.
maybe if my heart stops
I wont have to guard it like I do sometimes.
but it feels so good when you look after it.
maybe if my heart stops
I wont have to fix it like I do sometimes.
but you mend it so well.
I wont have to make it whole like I do sometimes.
but you share in spoiled love.
I wont have to answer to anyone.
but it feels so good when you answer me.
slash / hack // sever /// slice
Im cutting these already deteriorating ties.
ties that leave me
stretched & tormented.
and I'm giving into you.
me? a try at infatuation again?
secrets shared with one another?
no never.
I can't give in.
but it feels so good to give up.
you better not.
It wont hurt like it does some times.
but it feels so good when you make it swell.
maybe if my heart stops,
no one can steal it like they do sometimes.
but it feels so good when you trade me for yours.
maybe if my heart stops
I wont have to guard it like I do sometimes.
but it feels so good when you look after it.
maybe if my heart stops
I wont have to fix it like I do sometimes.
but you mend it so well.
I wont have to make it whole like I do sometimes.
but you share in spoiled love.
I wont have to answer to anyone.
but it feels so good when you answer me.
slash / hack // sever /// slice
Im cutting these already deteriorating ties.
ties that leave me
stretched & tormented.
and I'm giving into you.
me? a try at infatuation again?
secrets shared with one another?
no never.
I can't give in.
but it feels so good to give up.
you better not.
Dating is such a weird concept.
Such a weird, strange, uncomfortable concept.
I feel so much pressure from all over.
What makes me feel like I should be dating?
Why do single girls feel that pressure?
People go out on a "date" and meet each other and decide in the most politest way weather or not you are going to hang out again. Sometimes its not so polite. Haven't you realized it the second you are alone in the same room as this person that you. already are sure you'd never want to see them again? So what's the point of finishing the date? Humor them?
What decides dating? Where's the line located between, going out to dinner, drunk hookups, making love, taking trips, having pictures of eachother, snuggling, hanging out, and dinner with the parents? Is it the "so are you my girlfriend yet" line? Worked on me before. What if someones more comfortable not crossing that line? And what if the other persons in a rush to? Is it something that's decided mutually? Can one person change the others mind? Is that okay? Are we just looking for that person that's going to change our mind?
Why do we do this.
"What would you do if you knew you were going to die?"
"Considering I've had 3 children back to back, I'd probably have a margarita."
Such a weird, strange, uncomfortable concept.
I feel so much pressure from all over.
What makes me feel like I should be dating?
Why do single girls feel that pressure?
People go out on a "date" and meet each other and decide in the most politest way weather or not you are going to hang out again. Sometimes its not so polite. Haven't you realized it the second you are alone in the same room as this person that you. already are sure you'd never want to see them again? So what's the point of finishing the date? Humor them?
What decides dating? Where's the line located between, going out to dinner, drunk hookups, making love, taking trips, having pictures of eachother, snuggling, hanging out, and dinner with the parents? Is it the "so are you my girlfriend yet" line? Worked on me before. What if someones more comfortable not crossing that line? And what if the other persons in a rush to? Is it something that's decided mutually? Can one person change the others mind? Is that okay? Are we just looking for that person that's going to change our mind?
Why do we do this.
"What would you do if you knew you were going to die?"
"Considering I've had 3 children back to back, I'd probably have a margarita."
look out!
don't forget to tie your shoes tight & look both ways, kids.
I keep hearing about people getting hit head on by their lives.
I keep hearing about people getting hit head on by their lives.
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