Acceptance means you've won.
You've won the battle royale.
Not dealing, not ignoring, not denying, not fabricating. Not hoping, wishing, and trying to make it so it isn't so.
Accepting.
Accepting means you can move on.
That you can take a deep breath and let go.
Its doesn't mean you can't still be sad sometimes.
You just have to remember you won't be driving those roads anymore, you won't be looking into those eyes the way you used to. Those arms won't be wrapped around you again. You won't call that number at your highest and your lowest and in between.
And when you can accept that...
You can be happy again.
You can take deep breaths and be happy again.
You just have to accept its over and be honest with yourself.
I'm not saying I am perfectly okay.
I am not saying I know everything.
I'm just saying I know what I'm feeling and this fog is beginning to lift, these demons are dispursing, and the cold is starting to leave my extremities.
Baby steps. Believe me.
Just don't go rushing me.
metric.
you can burn your paper fingers in the ashtray
place your swollen lips on mine
you can shave your heavy head in my carpeted hallway
sure for the first time you're wearing the right clothes
now take them offMeet me on the band room rug
tie my right hand to the ride
you can take a live wire into the bath with you
for a feeling you can't find
you can entertain your childhood friends with a tour of the bedroom
laugh to erase the dirt on your mind
oh let's move out
meet me at the motel
tie my right hand to the bible
too little too late but we don't say no
it's too much to feel
tie my right hand to the bible
place your swollen lips on mine
you can shave your heavy head in my carpeted hallway
sure for the first time you're wearing the right clothes
now take them offMeet me on the band room rug
tie my right hand to the ride
you can take a live wire into the bath with you
for a feeling you can't find
you can entertain your childhood friends with a tour of the bedroom
laugh to erase the dirt on your mind
oh let's move out
meet me at the motel
tie my right hand to the bible
too little too late but we don't say no
it's too much to feel
tie my right hand to the bible
In the end.
my best friend gave me the best email full of a collection of advice.
I don't know what I'd do without her.
Each piece we write, whether it is long, short, or a few words, is a mile marker on our grief journey. These markers lead us to new feelings, discoveries, and wisdom. Don't edit
yourself as you go. One of the best results of writing it all down is that sometimes you will be amazed by a sudden insight that comes to you as you are pouring it all out onto paper.
Patterns may become clearer, and as your grieving begins to lessen, you will find it so much easier to "get" valuable life lessons from the whole experience if you've been writing your
way through it.
No relationship is ever a failure if you manage to learn something about yourself from having gone through it all with your heart open to both joy and pain.
Just because it didn't work out doesn't mean it wasn't a necessary part of your journey to becoming who you're meant to be.
Allow at least the learning part to enrich your life.
*Let go.*
Understand that there is no benefit in holding on to heartache,
regret, and hatred toward another person. Realize that although it is over, your relationship with that person was unique and special in a lot of ways.
You can congratulate yourself for being brave enough to take a risk and fall in love, and encourage your heart that even though love didn't work out this time, there will be a next time.
there will be a next time.
there will be a next time.
there will be a next time.
Walk out of your heartache, knowing that you have done all that you can do, said all that you can say, and given as much as you can give. When you feel that you did your part as best you could, but he didn't meet you halfway, then you will not need to torture yourself with "what-ifs".
Remember that this pain just has to be survived. It takes a season of time to heal, like a broken arm - there is no magical, instant cure or relief.
You won't die from it, though you may feel like you will for a time.
Endure.
Endure.
Endure.
Endure.
Eventually you will feel better, the pain will lessen, and you will
be able to love again.
Taking the high road may be hard now, but you'll be glad later that you didn't stoop to the gutter, even though you could have.
Every day, find something that will make you smile. Smiling really helps, even at the worst time of your life. You are free to be whoever you want to be now, without thinking "will he/she mind if I do that?".
Nothing is more important than you.
Nothing is more important than you.
Nothing is more important than you.
Love yourself, love life, and when you wake up...
SMILE.
I don't know what I'd do without her.
Each piece we write, whether it is long, short, or a few words, is a mile marker on our grief journey. These markers lead us to new feelings, discoveries, and wisdom. Don't edit
yourself as you go. One of the best results of writing it all down is that sometimes you will be amazed by a sudden insight that comes to you as you are pouring it all out onto paper.
Patterns may become clearer, and as your grieving begins to lessen, you will find it so much easier to "get" valuable life lessons from the whole experience if you've been writing your
way through it.
No relationship is ever a failure if you manage to learn something about yourself from having gone through it all with your heart open to both joy and pain.
Just because it didn't work out doesn't mean it wasn't a necessary part of your journey to becoming who you're meant to be.
Allow at least the learning part to enrich your life.
*Let go.*
Understand that there is no benefit in holding on to heartache,
regret, and hatred toward another person. Realize that although it is over, your relationship with that person was unique and special in a lot of ways.
You can congratulate yourself for being brave enough to take a risk and fall in love, and encourage your heart that even though love didn't work out this time, there will be a next time.
there will be a next time.
there will be a next time.
there will be a next time.
Walk out of your heartache, knowing that you have done all that you can do, said all that you can say, and given as much as you can give. When you feel that you did your part as best you could, but he didn't meet you halfway, then you will not need to torture yourself with "what-ifs".
Remember that this pain just has to be survived. It takes a season of time to heal, like a broken arm - there is no magical, instant cure or relief.
You won't die from it, though you may feel like you will for a time.
Endure.
Endure.
Endure.
Endure.
Eventually you will feel better, the pain will lessen, and you will
be able to love again.
Taking the high road may be hard now, but you'll be glad later that you didn't stoop to the gutter, even though you could have.
Every day, find something that will make you smile. Smiling really helps, even at the worst time of your life. You are free to be whoever you want to be now, without thinking "will he/she mind if I do that?".
Nothing is more important than you.
Nothing is more important than you.
Nothing is more important than you.
Love yourself, love life, and when you wake up...
SMILE.
I will be the one smiling in the end.
almost everyone thinks they will never be happy again, but the
human spirit is amazing — and the heartbreak almost always heals after a while. humans are adaptable.
I can't wait for this.
"I now avidly pursue the future as I welcome life’s unexpected joys and experiences. A new life and outlook has emerged, and it is interwoven with bits and pieces of my former life. I am thankful to have found myself again."
I will be okay.
The childish response to the letter that was my hearts brutal honesty seals the deal.
I made an effort. A hell of an effort.
Its time.
“What we have once enjoyed we can never lose.
All that we love deeply becomes a part of us.”
– Helen Keller
human spirit is amazing — and the heartbreak almost always heals after a while. humans are adaptable.
I can't wait for this.
"I now avidly pursue the future as I welcome life’s unexpected joys and experiences. A new life and outlook has emerged, and it is interwoven with bits and pieces of my former life. I am thankful to have found myself again."
I will be okay.
The childish response to the letter that was my hearts brutal honesty seals the deal.
I made an effort. A hell of an effort.
Its time.
“What we have once enjoyed we can never lose.
All that we love deeply becomes a part of us.”
– Helen Keller
"wakes up the next day, yells at me..."
Anxious.
So anxious.
So much of my heart has been poured onto those sheets of notebook.
I'm in the air writing this .... Dallas to austin.
Short 30 minute flight.
AG and MF on either side and I've never been so releived to be leaving the state.
I just wish I didn't have this following me.
But I'll be okay. Never better.
We all just reclined our seats at the same time.
Rocking our heads at our own headphones pace.
I sent the letter overnight.
Band of Horses just on repeat.
Hand cramps and heartaches.
Chewing gum and in flight lavatories.
sxsw here we come.
But saint patties day comes first.
I've got andys headphones on ... Le tigre -Deceptacon.
He keeps starting it over because it fucking rocks your face off hard at the beginning.
"We listened to the same song the whole time."
"That was not 30 minutes."
FUCK YES BRING IT ON AUSTIN.
So anxious.
So much of my heart has been poured onto those sheets of notebook.
I'm in the air writing this .... Dallas to austin.
Short 30 minute flight.
AG and MF on either side and I've never been so releived to be leaving the state.
I just wish I didn't have this following me.
But I'll be okay. Never better.
We all just reclined our seats at the same time.
Rocking our heads at our own headphones pace.
I sent the letter overnight.
Band of Horses just on repeat.
Hand cramps and heartaches.
Chewing gum and in flight lavatories.
sxsw here we come.
But saint patties day comes first.
I've got andys headphones on ... Le tigre -Deceptacon.
He keeps starting it over because it fucking rocks your face off hard at the beginning.
"We listened to the same song the whole time."
"That was not 30 minutes."
FUCK YES BRING IT ON AUSTIN.
spring.
"if sj was a flower, i'd give her water but not let her drown. just as i'd give her sunlight but not let her brown. i'd trim her sides and aide her growth, and i'd remove the weeds that restrict her most. you see, sj is a flower, with or without me. as a single rose she is content and happy. she will grow strong and tall regardless, but i'll give her all the love that my green thumb can harness. enjoy your day and keep your head high. you are one of a kind."
good thing no one was cuddling in the red zone with nick norton.
"Get in the right ass lane."
"I'm as right ass as it gets!"
AN/SP
"I think were on the brink of automatically recpricated water but I don't think the pillow can hold on." JK
"I'm from the future! Shits about to get really weird in '95." JK
"Are you doing it?" random.
"Are you making ramen?" JK
Week of drew has come and gone. She's sleeping and her flights at 6am tomorrow. I had a blast. She had a bunch of firsts this week!
Detroit
Ypsi
Reubens
Coney Dogs
Gumbo
Mac n Cheese
Dance Party
Indoor House Party
Sparks
Keg Beer ("I have only seen it in movies!")
8 mile road
Belle Isle
Elbow Room
Soumerset Mall
Buffalo Wild Wings
Briarwood
Classes at a US college
Pizza House
Banana Peppers
Aubrees / Sidetracks Burgers
Ann Arbor Ice Rink
Many more things. Its a blur. I'm broke, exhausted, and can't believe after this week I am going to texas. I am so excited and stressEd about everything I have to do before I leave.
Okaybye.
"I'm as right ass as it gets!"
AN/SP
"I think were on the brink of automatically recpricated water but I don't think the pillow can hold on." JK
"I'm from the future! Shits about to get really weird in '95." JK
"Are you doing it?" random.
"Are you making ramen?" JK
Week of drew has come and gone. She's sleeping and her flights at 6am tomorrow. I had a blast. She had a bunch of firsts this week!
Detroit
Ypsi
Reubens
Coney Dogs
Gumbo
Mac n Cheese
Dance Party
Indoor House Party
Sparks
Keg Beer ("I have only seen it in movies!")
8 mile road
Belle Isle
Elbow Room
Soumerset Mall
Buffalo Wild Wings
Briarwood
Classes at a US college
Pizza House
Banana Peppers
Aubrees / Sidetracks Burgers
Ann Arbor Ice Rink
Many more things. Its a blur. I'm broke, exhausted, and can't believe after this week I am going to texas. I am so excited and stressEd about everything I have to do before I leave.
Okaybye.
is it weird im blogging?
3:11am.
4 day bender.
Drove home from detroit today to shower and come back. Came out friday. Sunday is tomorrow and I pick up drew at "ten to eight" pm tomorrow!
Sp's kicking everyone but the home team out of the house.
Funk night last night was smoky, dark, drugged, and beautiful. I danced my face off and was wooed by RAs continous wash of new moves she dusted off the shelf. Hazy, warm, and cold is how that was. and is.
"That kids like cool but pretty weird kinda"
"Hecka strange you know what I'm sayin"
"I think I'm gonna leave."
"Sure."
People are still loitering, drunk girls who didn't plan a ride home, stragglers who aren't done drowning their sorrows, and drunk asses who don't know home from ham.
"Take it around the world you know what I'm sayin? A and A. Answas and Andswas."
"Dick ass dick"
"He's so tiny but I still want to play!"
"Yo pelvis is whack"
"Faygo fa Dayzo"
"You straight scannin'!"
I have soundbites, a few photos, "holy fuck mustache party, get hyfee (or how ever the fuck you spell it)", hilarious mental images, dance offs, and a fuckin' constand buzz and faded smile for a rad ass weekend.
"I'm callin it a night."
3:24 AM
4 day bender.
Drove home from detroit today to shower and come back. Came out friday. Sunday is tomorrow and I pick up drew at "ten to eight" pm tomorrow!
Sp's kicking everyone but the home team out of the house.
Funk night last night was smoky, dark, drugged, and beautiful. I danced my face off and was wooed by RAs continous wash of new moves she dusted off the shelf. Hazy, warm, and cold is how that was. and is.
"That kids like cool but pretty weird kinda"
"Hecka strange you know what I'm sayin"
"I think I'm gonna leave."
"Sure."
People are still loitering, drunk girls who didn't plan a ride home, stragglers who aren't done drowning their sorrows, and drunk asses who don't know home from ham.
"Take it around the world you know what I'm sayin? A and A. Answas and Andswas."
"Dick ass dick"
"He's so tiny but I still want to play!"
"Yo pelvis is whack"
"Faygo fa Dayzo"
"You straight scannin'!"
I have soundbites, a few photos, "holy fuck mustache party, get hyfee (or how ever the fuck you spell it)", hilarious mental images, dance offs, and a fuckin' constand buzz and faded smile for a rad ass weekend.
"I'm callin it a night."
3:24 AM
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
